Hello victims, I will tell you a tale, a tale sooo gruesome, so horrid, it will give you nightmares for weeks, turn the lights of and grab some popcorn as its time for
THE SECOND WORST DAY EVER!
Mua ha mua ha muahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It started on a cold morning, the wind squeezing through the gap in the window pane, ooohhhhhhhh, actually more like OOOHHHHHHH yeah, it howled as it licked over my face calling me to get up, get dressed and do some work. Breakfast was flakes of human skin, with small pellets of toad poo and dried tongues (otherwise known as special k, sultanas and strawberries). My noggin prepared and ready I creeped into my room dreading the mountain of work awaiting me, a mountain so large it threatened my very existence!
But I knew I had a job to do, and it all started with a list. For the next few hours the list stared at me, mocking me with its presence, tainting me with its length as the minutes ticked by, tick tock tick tock…at least that’s what it would have sounded like it I had an analogue clock…first up was writing my blog, searching my brain frantically for the events of last night, slightly drained but determined to push on I went through my poem again, screaming its passages to me as I frantically tried to follow along all to aware that I must memorise it before tomorrow
My life’s, my life’s, my life’s blossom ?? aggghhh the words, they’re too lame they fight to get out of my head, but I manage to keep them, strapping scotch tape around my head to stop them dribbling out my ears, then Hamlet…oh the pain, thou shant even describe the horrid turmoil of thy having to learn Hamlet!!
But I must move on, becoming weaker now, the remnants of breakfast being churned away as I attempt to keep going. Another flower on flash, and I cry as the shape tweens contort into tweens that don’t remotely resemble petals, tired and hungry I crawl downstairs through the dark passage way and into the kitchen braving the freezer as it holds fast to my chicken, blowing its icy wind all over me. I slammed the door shut and before anyone could find me breathed down my sandwich so fast it didn’t even taste like the things I found in the garbage!
Back to the room, its entity sucking the energy I had just acquired and still the minutes tick away, on hour to go, but I still have to start and finish the entire presentation we were assigned yesterday, 30 minutes to go, but I haven’t found all my information, 15 minutes to go, its only a draft, 5 minutes to go…aggghhhh, 1 minute to go….FINISHED! Punching my fist in the air gleefully I grab my computer and hard drive which of course doesn’t work (children, heres a lesson, don’t order anything of the net…especially if it costs $100…end of lesson) and running out the door through the zombies ambling towards uni and managing to flag down a bus going my way.
I tasted yoghurt egg nog today, discovering there are times when one can be too experamentative, I needed fuel my strawberry and coconut yoghurt wasn’t enough so I bargained at Cha for an orange crush with tapioca and sour mango pieces, promising them I would later rid them of their bee problem tomorrow, After the movie came out! Putting a deposit down for a little bow peep costume, a clever disguise for my later mission, I continued through the mist to Visual media, were the most terrible creature faced me…BOREDOM…it almost had me, but I made it through, and waited in secret for Mike at the art school, interrogating the guy at the front desk about my test tomorrow…he knew nothing...so he said…
Running late I was almost defeated by Mike as he abused me on my choice of hard drive, the fact that I wouldn’t be studying that afternoon and any other insecurity he saw surrounding me…I felt the lump in my throat increase with every step, but just when I thought he had me SUPER JESSIE to the rescue, whisking me away he accompanied me to the bus stop were I continued on with my costume, camera and computer alone.
Once back at the haunted house, skipping carefully through the pumpkins snapping at my toes, I raced upstairs to get dressed for trick or treating…well as previously planned by the person that wanted to ruin my day they had already left, and my costume was too small. However Vamos’s never say die, especially when vamos means go (and toll collector but that doesn’t fit in my story) so putting something together and taping up the broken staff…dodgy piece of...I banded together with Sanda and together we hiked across ghost campus to the vampire village, a place spoke of to have thousands of free lollies.
It was dark, and the wind continued to howl, suddenly we were attacked by a bunch of…fuk mi and look it was fuk u, breathing a sigh of relief we had found the other bounty hunters, safe at last we hiked on collecting our spoils like 4 year olds blushing embarrassingly as our TA’s said thank you rather like they were saying sorry to the people we stopped by (“they’re from the international village, this is their first Halloween, you don’t mind do you?”).
Giving up at last we headed back for a bountiful party, brought to us by our leaders Meredith and Madelyn (not Madeline…make that mistake and get your head chopped of…I’ve seen it happen). Then it was back to face more study for my quize and midterm tomorrow (not to mention two presentations and my poem reading)
Wish me luck my faithful readers
And a very Happy Halloween to you all
Don’t let the monsters that live under your bed bite!